Edited by Dena Udren
Dr. Einat Ramon, a former Conservative "Rabbah" and spokesperson for Israel's Conservative Movement, now defines herself as Orthodox, together with her two children – in contrast with her husband: Reform Rabbi Arik Ascherman. She speaks of the existential obligation to publicly sharpen, both scientifically and educationally, the differences between men and women. She is optimistic that society will soon return to its formative family-based value system.
Speaking to Ro'i Aharoni of Olam Katan, Dr. Ramon explained that she grew up in a secular household, joined the Conservative movement, and is now Orthodox. "I guess I actually am a baalat t'shuvah, returnee to observant to Judaism."
 |
| Dr. Einat Ramon |
She said that she left the Conservative movement when it became "too liberal," and no longer uses her title of "Rabbah" – a term she herself helped found in 1993 to describe a female rabbi.
The great crisis with her movement was when its American branch decided to allow same-sex marriages. She actually was not surprised with the decision: "The movement's line of thought is similar to that of Western society, with the key word being 'equality.' This, in total oblivion to the fact that solving one problem of equality in one place leads to a giant inequality somewhere else."
Dr. Ramon explains that this simplistic system differs from small-c conservativism, "which is based on complex thought systems that we inherited from the world of Halakha [Jewish Law] and philosophy, which seek to weigh and balance different values against each other. I don't blame the Conservative movement; it had to toe the line with Western thought, and was unable to have a genuine debate on the topic because it is too charged emotionally and politically."
Dr. Ramon feels that the issues of same-sex marriages, surrogate motherhood, divorce, late marriage, and the like comprise the most significant divides in the Jewish world today – even more than Land of Israel issues. "The fault line passes through the question of whether we are educating towards joint parenthood of Jewish father and Jewish mother, or not. Less essential, but something that must be dealt with, is whether after the fact, we can contain people who deviate from this path. A traditional, Orthodox educational message is that we will not carry out [same-sex] weddings and will not bring into our schools the idea that it can be acceptable. We have a model, and that is the marriage of a man and woman, in addition to other Halakhic principles that obligate us as Jews, and we direct everyone to adjust to it without setting up alternative structures."
Just Say No!
"The question is whether society wants to dismantle itself to death just because it doesn't know how to say no to anyone, or doesn’t know when to put the brakes on, both in the courts and in education."
"If one doesn't believe that man and woman are essentially different, then this leads to the belief that there is no essence to anything, and there is no ultimate truth. The moment the most basic issue falls – man and woman – everything goes, and we will end up living in total nihilism, with no good or bad. If people want something, and technology enables it, then the important thing in post-modernism is to give everyone what he wants; this is the simplistic definition of equality."
Contradictions
Dr. Ramon notes that there are also several inconsistencies to this approach: "For instance, everyone is entitled to receive what he wants – except for those who are not sufficiently 'egalitarian' and must therefore be restricted… [Another example:] On the one hand, the post-modernists abandon the very basis of the family as a dual relationship of man and woman who are responsible to each other and to their children – but on the other hand, they are super-tolerant to all type of societies, mostly Muslim, that promote the most violent type of patriarchy, which includes polygamy, child marriage, and more."
Another inconsistency in the post-modernist view is that "absurdly, those who forbid us to say that men and women are different, insist in full force that homosexuals are biologically different than heterosexuals."
Or how about this one: "People born from anonymous donations of sperm and egg cells want to know by what rights society has denied them their identity. They say they want to know their parents, their siblings, and their genetic history. The irony is that Western society encourages different sexual identities – yet the natural identity of roots and genetics is denied to many people."
Dr. Ramon said that she brought this up with then-Health Minister Yael German, former Mayor of Herzliyah on behalf of the left-wing Meretz party, who responded: "Soon it really won't be important to know our parents. There will be an evolution; we just have to wait a bit." That means, sums up Ramon, "that if a child asks why we concealed the information of his identity from him, we'll tell him that he's just an in-betweener, and that soon it won't be important to anyone. You see the evil cynicism that's at play here?"
Noting yet another inconsistency, Dr. Ramon points out two trends concerning giving birth that appear to be contradictory, but essentially serve the same scary agenda: "For all those who can't have children naturally, all technological options are opened for them – but those who give birth naturally are told to reduce their reproduction rates, including to abort, because 'this will save mankind from poverty and from deteriorating ecology.' … As such, unmarried women with no means are practically given no choice other than to abort. No one asks them if they can perhaps find another solution? Perhaps the community can help? Perhaps the baby can be given up for adoption or foster care? Whoever presents them with another option will be called an anti-feminist conservative racist, because they 'don't understand that this unwanted pregnancy is impeding the self-fulfillment of the woman and her rights over her body.'"
Women are generally not told the results of research that negates liberal attitudes, Dr. Ramon states, such as that a large percentage of women who undergo abortions become depressed and regret having done so. "What has happened is that in order to hold liberal views, information must be withheld from people – and many suffer from it."
Dr. Ramon is saddened by the phenomenon of late-age marriages: "In Singapore, there are national men-women matching projects for marriage – but here in Israel the response to a nation-wide program like that would be, 'Why only between men and women? And what's so important about marriage altogether?'"
Wanted: Support Systems
"I find in the religious-Zionist world much discussion and knowledge handed down about good marriages and the like. But in the secular world, there's nothing. 70% of the nation has no support systems in these matters, except for those who happen to have strong and supportive families. But what about everyone else? Are they destined to get divorced or not to marry? This must be an issue of national responsibility – but many would fear this as an attempt to bring religion in through the back door; the liberal world is not interested in helping those who want to live in a man-woman relationship."
Western society is seeking to turn women into men, Dr. Ramon says: "This doesn't mean that I think women should return only to the kitchen. It's rather a question of priorities. Society is enriched when women are educated and have professions. Women in our generation must have a rich Jewish and Torah-based world, both for the purpose of being partners in building the nation and the world in the spirit of Judaism, and also to educate the next generation. But my mother, too, who was secular, taught her daughters not only to have a profession, but also to try to remain at home as much as possible when the children are young… A woman who spends her days in meetings and traveling and arrives home late with no patience for her children – this is an existential loss for her, for her children, and for all of mankind."
"Motherhood is a fundamental value of mankind, and Judaism sees it this way as well. The mother, not the father, must be the one to be the mother, because there is no substitute for womanly motherhood. It is also not to be viewed as a chore, something that the woman has to do instead of having a career; it is something of tremendous spiritual value."
Western Respect and Jewish Respect
"Western society admires a certain type of person, one who works, achieves, and is wealthy and respected. But Judaism measures people differently – not by one’s money or degrees, but by how he brought up his children, his relationships with his family members, and how he advanced these values in the world. And this is exactly where the feminist voice should be heard, protesting against the anti-woman, materialist, technological Western society, which sports values that make women secondary to men, under the guise of advancing them."
"So tell us," Ramon was asked: "The ruling culture doesn't agree – what do we do?"
"We live our lives according to the true values of Judaism. We have to say what we believe in a positive way and not excitedly, and without demonizing the other side that doesn't agree with us. But always make it clear: We educate towards joint parenthood in a framework of marriage between a man and a woman. Most people in the secular society also agree with this, but are afraid to say it openly. We cannot fall prey to the emotional manipulation of a given personal story; we must see the story from a wide perspective. The covenant between man and woman is a fundamental value of the Jewish nation. If you don't like it, that's too bad – but the day will come when you will join us."
Et Tu, Orthodoxy?
As mentioned, Dr. Ramon feels that the Conservative movement, as an integral part of Western society, was all but forced to go along with its thought patterns – and she is concerned that "without our totally realizing it, it appears that what happened to the Conservative movement is happening on the fringes of Orthodoxy as well. I was surprised to see how many ultra-liberal and post-gender voices there are among the Orthodox… I believe that feminist voices coming from academia will ultimately have to toe the line with feminism, even if they live Orthodox lives. But other feminists, coming from Batei Medrash, are able to express more of an authentic Orthodox approach. Still, there are militant voices coming out against the Chief Rabbinate and in favor of Women of the Wall… If the world follows this post-gender line, the coming generations will suffer greatly. This is something I would try to stop absolutely."
In conclusion: "What's most important is to help young men and women find each other and maintain their relationship. Every attempt to strip mankind of the value of the man-woman covenant will lead to wars and to broken families, but at the end it will fail. Despite all the technological advances which enable these aberrations, mankind will ultimately return to its natural values."
All quotes are paraphrased from the original Hebrew.
All quotes are paraphrased from the original Hebrew.