10th year Bet El Yeshiva student and cancer survivor
On coping with hardship through emunah (faith)
[Interview conducted by Sharona eshet-Kohen]
Sharona Eshet-Kohen (SEK): Shalom Yedidya. Tell me, where did you grow up and how did you grow up?
Yedidya Solomon (YS): I was born in Israel and grew up in Har Nof, Jerusalem. I grew up in a National Religious household, with a love for Torah and the Land of Israel. I learned and was educated in the Talmud Torah school system founded by a student of HaRav Tzvi Yehuda HaKohen Kook, that offers an emphasis on integrating Torah with life in the Land of Israel and the State of Israel.
SEK: Your parents are originally from the United States, is that correct? Where in the U.S. are they from and what brought them to Israel? And in what ways is their story a part of your own identity?
YS: My father is originally from Chicago and my mother grew up in Brooklyn, NY. They were both raised in nonobservant homes and both went through a process of becoming religious. My father learned at Yeshiva University and received smicha there. During his time there, he visited Israel and fell in love with the Land. So he made Aliyah, and counseled and taught young men who came from abroad to learn in Israel at the Yeshiva BMT.
My mother became religious through a local rabbi and came to Israel to volunteer after the First Lebanon War. In Israel, my parents met and decided to get married and establish their lives in Israel. The fact that my parents grew up in the U.S. influenced me in a couple ways. Firstly, with immigrant parents, we grew up in a home that contained a variety of different perspectives and opinions about Torah and mitzvot.
Secondly, I always heard from my parents about the comforts of the U.S., and I came to know it myself through my grandparents. Nevertheless, the special value of growing up and living in the Land of Israel and in the State of Israel was emphasized to us all the time, that the ideal place to live a life of Torah and mitzvot fully is in the Land of Israel. Although life in Israel can be difficult (especially at the time my parents made Aliyah, 35 years ago), my parents always stressed their happiness with living here. To this day my father, says that the most meaningful thing he did for his children was making Aliyah to the Land of Israel, and giving his children (four boys and a girl) the opportunity to grow up and be educated here.
SEK: You had leukemia as a child. How old were you when you were diagnosed and how many years did you have it?
YS: At the age of three I was diagnosed with Leukemia (ALL) and I began chemotherapy. But after some time the doctors recommended a bone marrow transplant and, by the mercy of G-d, my sister (who is three years older than me and was seven years old at the time) donated bone marrow that saved my life. The bone marrow donation and rehabilitation were done in Boston at the children’s hospital there. All in all I had cancer for about a year.
But the ramifications that the treatments and radiation have had on my health have been very significant over the years. Following the treatments and radiation I underwent in order to save my life, a number of organs in my body were damaged, and so throughout my childhood and teenage years I was under close medical supervision.
About ten years after the leukemia, I was diagnosed with an orthopedic problem that required surgery to straighten my knees. The operation took place close to my Bar Mitzvah celebration. The rehabilitation from the operation was difficult, long, and painful, and I experience for the first time coping from a place of real emotion and emunah. After undergoing this process, I began to look at life from a deep place, both emotionally, and with emunah. This view of life has expanded with life challenges, and today it leads me in everything I do.
One of the central organs that was damaged as a result of the cancer treatments was my kidneys. About three years after the orthopedic episode, I had to undergo a kidney transplant. From the age of three to 13 years old I was under medical supervision every few weeks, and I had to take various medications to balance my health. After 13 years, the doctors recommended I undergo a kidney transplant, and once again, G-d showed His kindness, and my sister (the only sister I have), who donated bone marrow for me, also donated her kidney (to her credit, she did not hesitate for a moment; she was happy to donate her kidney to me despite knowing that it would require a difficult surgery and rehabilitation on her end). The medical significance of my sister donating a kidney is that generally a kidney transplant requires one to take various medications and steroids, but because she was a perfect match, I did not need to take anything at all. This meant that the transplanted kidney, which in regular cases could be damaged by the very same steroids will, with G-d’s help, not be damaged and will continue to function well for many years.
Today, thank G-d, I am healthy and I lead a routine lifestyle, along with medical checkups every two months make sure everything is functioning properly.
SEK: Wow. How did these experiences build or challenge your emunah?
YS: The encounter with pain and difficulty at an early age has shaped my life in a very meaningful way. As a child, the experience was mainly coping with the capacity of a child, and I had a family and wonderful people who surrounded me and helped me see the “games” in all the treatments - scary devices became spacecrafts and pillboxes became ships and war vehicles that I played with.
At the age of 13, when I was challenged with the rehabilitation from knee alignment surgery, my emunah was challenged for the first time in a very meaningful way. For the first time I felt limited, and almost “handicapped,” because I needed to be aided by crutches and by the people around me, and regular activities like getting dressed and going to the bathroom became tasks that took a lot of time and energy.
I began to ask myself and G-d, “Why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” The answer to these questions came after a long and meaningful process. I began to understand through various ideas in books and articles I read that every situation we undergo in life has a goal. We don’t always understand why, but we always have the ability to direct the events that call on us to grow and progress in life. I learned by coping with the many struggles I underwent, from the suffering I have endured, and the suffering I’ve seen others endure, because meaning in suffering and pain eases it greatly, and it helps people progress and grow from the crises that come their way.
I developed these insights over the years from in-depth Torah study, which gave me the strength to grow from the crises and to see the light hidden in hardship. I set a goal for myself, to take the challenges I had in life, that I have in life, and that I will have in the future, and to make them a source of growth - for me and for my family, and through that, for everyone else I will be able to help to grow from difficulty and pain. And all of this comes from emunah - that everything happens for a reason. We will not always know what it is, but we always have the choice to fall from difficulties, or to rise up higher from them.
SEK: When did you come to Bet El and why?
YS: I arrived in Bet El at the age of 15 to attend the Bnei Tzvi Boys Yeshiva High School. I wanted to grow in Torah alongside matriculation to give me the tools to move ahead in life.
SEK: Why did you decide to remain in Bet El after Yeshiva high school?
YS: One of my older brothers studied at the Bet El Yeshiva of Higher Learning, and through him I knew a little about the spirit of the Yeshiva and its spiritual path. Through him I also met a few of the rabbis of the Yeshiva. With the yeshiva’s learning method and the Rabbinical staff, and especially the Rosh Yeshiva, HaRav Zalman Melamed - I was sold. I understood that these rabbis would help me continue to develop my spiritual life, with a positive attitude, and a connection to the Land of Israel and the Torah of Israel, from a place of optimism and joy.
SEK: How many years have you been at the Bet El Yeshiva of Higher learning?
YS: Today I am thank G-d in the 10th year at the yeshiva, Year 10
SEK: What is the most valuable thing you have gained from the Yeshiva?
YS: At the Yeshiva I have received a deep and joyful way of looking at life. The Rosh Yeshiva guides me to view personal and general processes with a emunah-filled and optimistic outlook. And the rest of the Yeshiva staff guides and educates in this way too. In a sentence - I have gained a way of perceiving life with a deep sense of emunah that leads me to have a positive way of looking at my personal and general reality.
SEK: You got married relatively recently. How did you meet your wife?
YS: I met my wife through the mother of a friend who learned with me at the Bnei Tzvi Yeshiva High School. My wife grew up in Bet El and she knew her. The mother called me and suggested we meet. I told her I would be happy to, and when I asked her if the young woman knew my medical history, she said that she had heard parts of the story, but that it was important to her not to judge by a medical story, rather that she wanted to know the person behind the story. Thank G-d we met and we have been privileged to establish our home in Bet El as part of the Yeshiva of Higher Learning.
SEK: How many more years to you intend to learn at the yeshiva and what do you intend to do after your time there?
YS: I have 3-5 years left in my program at the Yeshiva. Afterwards, I would like to integrate the world of education with the world of therapy. I'd like to integrate within yeshivot an educational system that includes imparting tools to understand the mind and psychology, in order to develop Torah scholars with emotional and emunah-based depth. Additionally, I would like to bring into hospitals tools for coping with hardship from a place of emunah and emotional health, so that both the medical staff and the patients will be able to grow from pain and difficulty.
SEK: Is there any message you would like to impart to our readers?
YS: In personal and general life there are various hardships. One of the greatest difficulties is to leave what is familiar and loved in favor of the unknown. But from my experiences with coping with hardship, and with the unknowns that came with them, it is precisely these places and times that we manage to overcome fear of the unknown and move towards new directions in life. These are the moments that cause us to grow in the most significant ways. The power to grow from hardship comes from emunah and learning Torah, which directs us towards a deeper and better life.
My parents began the process of leaving their familiar homes and becoming religious. After that, they left the country they knew and immigrated to Israel, and built a home of Torah in the Land of Israel. I, with the struggles that G-d sent to me, continued by building another level of growth from hardship.
And so I call on everyone where he is to think about in which areas of life he can overcome fear and rise higher to the next level of his own life, a level that will change not only his life, but his family’s, and thereby affect the entire Jewish people.
