Strengthening the Family Unit, Combatting the Divorce Rate

We decided to publish this piece because it's a refreshing spin on Israeli discourse surrounding the family unit, and it stems from an unlikely and inspiring source!

[Originally published in BeSheva and translated by Hillel Fendel]

These days, when public discourse seeks to break down the institution of family into tiny pieces, it's nice to hear a different tone - especially when it comes from the secular-liberal direction. A new family-nourishing initiative has been started in the city of Rishon LeTzion by Iris Kagan-Chakmon, the Mayor's Advisor on the Status of Women. So reports the BeSheva newspaper.


Kagan-Chakmon herself is not religious or observant, and even emphasizes that her initiative is designed not only for the traditional, father-mother family unit, but also for same-sex relationships. As such, the new program cannot yet be stamped with a "kosher l'mehadrin" seal. Still and all, when someone whose official position is essentially designed to empower women and pursue gender equality, speaks out publicly on the need to "fight against many social phenomenon encountered by [and that weaken] young couples," we can say that a window of cautious optimism has been opened within the chaos that currently exists.

For instance, Kagan-Chakmon says, "Too often we see people saying that what's important to them is their own self-fulfillment, often even at the expense of their marriages. This, in fact, is often the first trap that young marrieds fall into."

The program will be officially kicked off on the 15^th of Av – the traditional day commemorating marriage in Jewish tradition, in mid-August. It has been running informally throughout this past year in Rishon LeTzion, Israel's 4^th-largest city. Every young couple there, wedded within the past year, is entitled to participate, free of charge. What they receive is a space for growth and support, accompanied by professional guidance for the special needs and challenges they face, whether they be economic, professional, personal, or how to function in a one-on-one relationship.

Kagan-Chakmon notes Israel's depressing divorce rate statistics - around 30% - which means that some 400,000 children are at risk as a result. "Divorce causes a personal  financial crisis," she adds, "and also costs the State much money. No one has yet taken all these data into account, and no one has yet realized that there's no need to accept this as an ironclad decree that cannot be fought."

And so Kagan-Chakmon decided to raise the gauntlet. She developed a model for young couples that is not simply marriage counseling for those who have reached a crisis point, but rather empowerment of the positive starting-out point: "The basis for our program is the mutual love they now experience, and not the problems they are going through."

Each couple formulates mutual agreements in five areas, including trust, finances, and self-fulfillment. "The agreements deal with questions such as, 'Which of us will study, and when? Which of us will develop professionally? When there are children, what will each of our roles be?' We took all the potential failure factors that frequently lead to divorce, and we turned them into growth factors. We want the pinnacle of the beginning of their marriage to continue for many years afterwards."

The initiative includes community support, as well as input and ideas from the couples that can be utilized by the other participants. The local municipality will also be involved in various ways. "I hope that this comprehensive social process that takes responsibility for the young couples will become a national program, one that will deal not only with preventing violence, but with encouraging real marital growth."